The Ways Of Your Desire

I am not tired today. Which is rather odd, since I didn’t sleep too well last night. Go figure. My tiredness level is always unpredictable.

It was my own fault, last night. Thunder and lightning and rain. I lay in the dark and listened to it. Normally I sleep with earplugs in my ears, but I left them out. There is something soothing about a good storm. (I just realized that this might sound inappropriate, considering the Katrina situation. But obviously I didn’t mean anything like that).

The room lit up by a bright flash. And then waiting for the thunder to roll in. Thunder is awe inspiring. It’s like the heavens are shaking. Sometimes it feels like it will break apart the sky.

I remember I always found it really cool when we learned about nordic mythology in school. Thor’s hammer and all that jazz. I imagined how it must be to have the heavens roaring and not knowing what it was. So powerful that it had to be gods.

The more we learn, the less likely magic seems.

I was looking at stars some nights ago. Before bedtime. Standing outside in our back yard, enjoying the cool night air. Clear skies full of pinhole stars. It really does look sort of like a dome, doesn’t it? A big dome over our heads with little holes that let in the light from whatever majestic galactic party is going on on the outside.

Maybe if you’re really quiet you can hear the music…

Yeah, all those stars drip down like butter
Promises are sweet
We hold out our pans, lift our hands to catch them
We eat them up, drink them up, up, up, up
Hey, let me in
Hey, let me in

I know it’s the biggest cliché in the book, but looking up at the stars really makes me feel tiny. Ant in the farm. When I look at the stars I get a great need for answers. Answers I don’t need. Answers that probably don’t exist. But it’s hard not to ask the questions anyway. Life, love, the universe and everything.

Like God. I was thinking about God. Or faith, really. We don’t know there is a God, right? So we have to base it on faith. Blind faith, because there is no evidence. There is evidence that points against God, but not for him. I don’t think it’s fair to ask for blind faith. You could put blind faith into anything. I could believe Ronald McDonald is God. There is as much proof. What does blind faith prove anyway? It’s like an on/off switch. You don’t have to actually think about it, you just have to turn it on or off. “Okay, I’ll believe in God”. Blind faith is nothing. Faith can be strong, but blind faith is arbitrary. If I was God I would not be impressed by masses of blind faith. It wouldn’t mean anything.

You know?

Probably not. I’m having problems communicating what I wanted to say. I should have written this down right when I thought about it, instead of a week later!

Sorry, this entry wasn’t meant to be quite so stargazing. Tomorrow I will catch up with the down-to-Earth goings ons.

Top o’ the weekend to ya.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 2nd, 2005 at 22:00 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Edit this entry.